I don't wanna miss a thing

Ah, this feeling of happiness.

I always experience it when I have been doing something. Like when we were shooting or editing our movie; even though it was hard work, the feeling of doing something creative that I love is just unexplainable. Sometimes, when I was taking the bus to the editing room, I just couldn't stop smiling.

One would think that not doing anything for a whole day would be great, but it does not work like that for me. The first weeks here in Aarhus I had a hard time feeling satisfied with me and the things I did. I felt a huge pressure of "I should do something right now but I am not". All the photos people posted on Facebook, all the thousand likes they got. Why am I not somewhere, meeting people and posting about it, showing how popular I am?

Wait. Is that the happiness I want?

Not really. I do want to meet new people, but not feeling forced to do that. I do want to party, but not all the time just to do it. During these few months I have talked to many new people and found friends to hang out with when I - possibly - some day return. There is nothing else I could wish for, and after all I seem to do really well here, even though I don't actively do something awesome with everybody everyday.

Even this picture makes me happy. I'm chatting with a close, but let's face it, irritating friend. You know who you are, Tauri.

"what's up?"
"not much. Can't you see I am playing? ^^
"I though you would do something interesting"
"Nope. Too mainstream"
"^^"
"And you? you're not doing anything either :D"
"I'm writing in my blog ^^"
"Exactly"




A random discussion can sometimes make you feel really good, and remind you of the people surrounding you.

My happiness consists of doing something creative, read, watch and talk about film & tv, share my everyday life with the people I like. Be alone, having a great time with new acquaintances, thinking about my family and all my lovely nephews and nieces. Being happy with who I am. To have a balance with doing nothing and doing a lot. Taking this risk by coming to a new country alone, but also to go home in two weeks. Not to compare myself to others.

The older I get the more I realize these things. I needed 24 years to learn all this ;)

Just a while ago I finished my part of our groups report about our short film. We are ahead of time, and have control over everything, and working great together. I am happy enough with my part ^^ And now, I am happy with not doing anything. Or, right after this post. Because this is doing something, right?

After the report I listened to I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, and thought about all the people I know, the place I am in my life right now and all these new great friends and situations I find myself in. The feeling of calmness inside, just being happy right here right now. I always feel lucky when having one of these moments.

The sweetest dream will never do, I'd still miss you babe

Of course, this song does not make it easier to be away from home. And suddenly two weeks feels so far away.

When life gives you hard choices

The older I get the more difficult decisions I face in life.

At least that is what it feels like.

Coming to Denmark, or generally going abroad during my studies, was not something I planned. Especially when I started my studies in 2010. I didn't really see myself as a person who studies abroad, I don't know why. I felt like there were certain kinds of people who become exchange students: they who want to meet new people and party abroad, or they who long for adventures since they are bored in their home country.

I never had the need to go abroad. I like to meet new people, but not so bad that I will take an exchange year and move from my home country, family and friends. And I certainly wasn't bored back home, I was busy with studies, work, student organizations, movies and my friends.

One of the main reasons I started considering an exchange year was to have a chance to study something I love. One of my friends told me about some university courses online in Sweden I could take during my studies, and then I realized how different some courses can be from the ones back home. Especially courses in film, which is my main interest. Since I can study film only as a minor at the University of Helsinki, and I have taken almost all the courses there is, I needed to find a way to continue studying film. Preferably some different kind of courses that I have taken in Helsinki. When I started studying Nordic literature and heard about other people going abroad, at times I considered it too. I did not really feel the excitement or a need to study literature abroad.

Like, eh. Why would I do that?

But a couple of years ago I started thinking about my chances to study film abroad, and I couldn't resist the thought anymore. To get a chance to study more film studies, abroad, with new approaches and new people interested in film? I thought about moving to London, Sweden, France. I thought about the different possibilities and chances I could get. New people I could meet who love film, and new, inspiring teachers. Yeah, suddenly I was really excited. I didn't go abroad to hang out in another country for a year, I went abroad to broaden my perspective about something I truly love.


So why Denmark? Well, through Nordic literature I had an easier way to go the Nordic countries. I also loved Danish series, had already learned some basic Danish and it wasn't too far from home. Now I can't even describe how satisfied and blessed I am choosing this country, this town, this university, these courses, these teachers, these classmates. I can't imagine myself being anywhere else, and I am seriously considering coming back here, to finish my Master's. I mean,

how_cool_would_that_be_?



Very.

But what about those hard choices? Well, deciding to come to Aarhus was a choice. Not a very hard one, since it would be only 4-5 months, I would study something awesome and I didn't really know what to do after my Bachelor's.

It wasn't easy to decide to move here, away from my family, my boyfriend, and all the things I were used to. Even though I like to see my family more often, we have had many phone and Skype calls. I can feel their support. Every time something great and amazing happens, I call them. Every time I feel insecure about things here or my future, I call them. I get all the help I need, and they make me feel like I did the best decision to come here, which makes me feel even happier.

My boyfriend also supported me all the way, and it doesn't feel like this time has changed our relationship to something unfixable. It has actually made it stronger - I trust us more than ever before, I am so very grateful for his understanding and support, and I couldn't love him more right now. To stay here is not only a huge thing for me, I can't forget that.

Now I have one month left, but the decisions do not end here. My next step is to decide where I will do my Master's degree, but at times I feel that I made the choice already. I really love Medievidenskap, C-linie here in Aarhus. I have not found anything similar back home, I already know some of the teachers and students, I feel like home here and I never imagined myself being this happy and this interested in studying. And I never imagined being so excited to come back.

It's easy to see myself back here again next year and stay for at least 1,5 years. But when the time comes, it will not be as easy. To again have two homes which I travel between. And what happens then? Will I stay here or go back? Maybe move to another country? Will I continue having a long-distance boyfriend, or will we move together? What happens when he is going abroad in five years? Will I still have my friends from back home, will it be the same when I return? Are we really that close?

I really hope so.

I guess I just have to follow my heart. It brought me here, to one of the best experiences I have had in my 24-years. But at the same time I left a piece of it in Finland.

Cats & birthdays

The two cats meet. 

Apparently the grey cat, that visits me every now and then, has a owner here at Skjoldhøjkollegiet. And the cat's name is Lenny ^^ Luna and Lenny play often together, although in the beginning Lenny was not that interested. Nowadays I see them often together, sometimes they happen to visit me at the same time. 

In the kitchen, enjoying pie.

I forgot earlier to mention my 24th birthday. I visited Finland a week before my actual birthday, but celebrated my upcoming birthday and one of my best friend's birthday with a gathering at a bar with some close friends. I got some presents, which I didn't expect ^^ When I came back to Denmark I thought of making a blueberry pie for my "house", nr. 25 at Skjoldhøjkollegiet. Here is an apartment downstairs, which me and Martina share, and upstairs is maybe 12 rooms, and they share a bathroom and a kitchen. 



I made a pie that did not succeed in a way I hoped for, but the guys seemed to like it ;) I also got the honors to hear a Danish birthday-song, which included dancing, loud singing and playing imaginary instruments. The evening ended with some Family Guy-clips and other stuff on youtube. The residents here are mostly Danish, at least one from Poland, one from Italy and one from Germany, and so forth. They are great and fun people, and I'm happy I live in such an awesome house. It was a fun birthday evening, and I'm certainly happy I made the pie!

A short update about everything

When it was time for the autumn week in the middle of October, I visited my dear home country. I met my family and went to a movie and a great dinner with them, spent a lot of time with my boyfriend, went with him and my friends for a beer (or five) at Ølhus København, went to see an apartment and had a job interview (didn't take the apartment and didn't get the job), visited my brother and his family and got acquainted with their new dog, visited the bar I work at, went to lunch with four of my other friends and enjoyed my time.

 It felt like I hadn't even been away that long, but I had many stories to share. And I got a chance to show my first short film ever, and the feedback was great!

  

When I came back it was time for some Oktoberfest at the Studenterhuset. That was a lot of fun - 1liter beer for 50 krones, a lot of dancing, great people to hang out with, and even some Finnish music; Bomfunk MC's -Freestyler 
We came late back home that night, and stopped, of course, by a kebab place on the way.

The day after I felt just a little tired, and on that evening a Danish girl who ownes the little cat Luna invited me ower to her place, where I met some of her friends. It's really fun to party with young Danish people too, since I mostly see a lot of international students. Which is not bad either, I can meet people from all around the world, but it's fun to see how the young people party in Denmark. I'm happy they invited me over ^^

As for my studies, we started to plan our next short film with the group the week before I left. It is supposed to be 4-7 minutes long, and after I came back we worked on the storyboard. It feels great to get some experience in film making, even though I am kind of nervous to actually film it - feels like I am not ready yet. But I'll get better the more I work with film, and I wish it turns out good.

We also had a visit from M2Film here in Aarhus, a place we visited earlier this fall. We had a workshop on acting, too, and it was great to see how Nikolaj Feifer showed us ways to work with our actors. We are going to have 5 actors in our film, so all the advice we get is great. I have not really worked with acting or actors, so I don't really understand how much work it actually is, and how bad acting really looks like. I am so used to watch known and popular series on tv, so there's not much I actually know about acting. The workshop with Feifer really opened my eyes.

Friday the 31st of October came, and it was time for some Halloween. Stephane from France, my flatmate Martina, her friend from Italy and me dressed up and went to the Esperanto-fridaybar (a bar for students who study English, Spanish etc, but basically anyone can be there). It's a small bar, but very popular.

/love Filmstudies

Screening of our 90 sec film "The Wrong Girl"

In the fall of 2014 I live in Denmark and study at the Aarhus University. I'm attending two courses; one of them is Film- og tv-analyse in Danish and the other Visual Media Production 2 in English. The courses are awesome and exactly what I wanted to study here.




 Back home in Helsinki I took all the film courses at the university, but the courses were only about film history, film analysis and film theory. In Aarhus I have the chance to do some practical work within film; to actually make my own short films. It's an opportunity I am very grateful for, since I wasn't sure I could ever try making my own short films. I mean, without doing them on my own or going to a film school.

Making of "The Wrong Girl"

Now I have the chance to do this on university level, getting instructions and try out the equipment, and later on decide if that is something I want to pursue.


I have learned so much about the process of making my own short films, everything from brainstorming ideas, make the storyboard to decide on actors and edit the movie. There have been times of frustration and bad ideas, but also feeling of success and satisfaction of doing something so creative and interesting. One of the best things with this exchange student-period is the chance to go these courses and get these experiences within film. That maybe sounds geeky, but I really mean it ^^

I hope my studies here in Aarhus help me find out what really interests me in film and what I possibly want to do in my future.